Many industry professionals see rising house prices as a good thing and to be honest equity has been a nice little earner for me over the years. £13,000 profit pocketed on moves in the 80s and much much more in recent years, but I do think property prices are now out of control and brinking on the obscene.

Now I’m not looking back nostalgically to the 80s – the house prices were attractive, but mullets and the glam rock look – no thanks.

The reason I’m concerned is that I’d like to move, to move locally, to something more rural, so I can fling open doors, see open countryside, hear birds chirping, rabbits cavorting and England flags on farmsteads waving their insular casual racism for all to see on large holdings.

The problem is that the countryside, around here in east Norfolk, is bloody expensive.

Burgh Castle, home to a Roman river fort, appeals, but the prices are too high.

Haddiscoe, Ormesby, Lound, Browston are all areas I’d move to in a heartbeat with my dog, family and Google WiFi boxes but alas I’d never get a mortgage, self employed at 53, with those prices.

When we first moved here, you could get a country bolt-hole for £200,000 but now you’re looking at £450,000 for the same property in rural east Norfolk.

Head to north Norfolk or nearer Norwich and east Norfolk property prices are made to look like you’re in the north.

That’s my first world problem I’m ruminating on today. I like the new build we moved into two years ago. Its running costs and thermal efficiency are trememdous. It’s quiet, reasonably close to bridlepaths, but it’s not my forever home, though I’ve accepted Norfolk may be for life, given the climate and fineness of Norwich city centre.

So if anyone can suggest a sub £200,000 property in rural east Norfolk, where I can smell parochial Brexit attitudes, with 3 bedrooms and walks from the back gate, drop me a line (an email, not cocaine).