I’m a fickle, feckless spender of earnings and having defected from the walled garden of Apple before Christmas to Android and a snazzy Note 9, this week I knocked on the orchard door and asked to be let back in – wearing the metaphorical sackcloth and ashes.

Now don’t get me wrong, the Note 9 was a superior device to the iPhone 8 Plus it replaced; Android was no longer the mess it used to be and Android let me access anything online without restrictions.

But this week, I entered the Apple chapel, in Norwich, knelt before the blinkered hipster staff and prayed for a safe return.

With profits sliding, from an almighty 1.1 trillion in case you’re tempted to weep, I was welcomed with open arms.

The prodigal son returned with a fatted lamb in the form of an XS Max (forgive my biblical ignorance if the analogy is inaccurate, as I stopped believing in God from the age I could reason – about 10 years old).

It’s good to be back too, as my primary work device is a 2016 iMac 27, which syncs beautifully with all iOS devices, but petulantly refuses to even phatically acknowledge the Note 9 perched on its wireless charging plinth, just 5cm away.

Plonk an iPhone near it and there’s an almighty digital ejaculation.

I went back.

This Norwich web design freelancer broke the adage – never go back.

In many ways, the Note 9 is a superior device – the screen, the battery, the S Pen, the widgets, the layers, the camera, but, alas, the iMac and iPad Pro refused to cohabit so it had to reluctantly leave.

I traded it in and got an exceptional price and bought a new one from one of these trading shops, where I went all Arthur Daley raiding drawers and cupboards for old tech like iPhone 5s models and old Samsung handsets and the like.

With my Note in Grade A condition, and the bag tipped on the counter, I could get an upgrade for far far less than with my network or in the Apple chapel. I did it. Stumped up cash walking out with a fine XS Max with vast memory so that the iMac and iPad Pro would stop sulking.

Why change?

I like change. I like trying new devices. The Apple iOS is still redolent of that on my first Apple device – an iPhone 4 and the tiled layout is a bit shit, tbh, after Android, but the chip, the A12 Bionic chip set is superb, better than the Snapdragon in the Note 9 which was no slouch. It is like a knife through butter and the way it talks to the iMac makes for a happy desk.

I’ve also pissed around in recent weeks, with various smart speakers: my office desk began with a modest Echo, then upgraded to HomePod, which I sold on eBay last week and then to a Google Home Max, which is terrific in terms of sound and Google Assistant.

But the Home Max looks odd now on the desk – it looks like someone in the Apple store without tattoos and piercings, I guess, so yesterday a new HomePod was bought. Again, its integration with the iMac, iPhone etc is staggering and I realise now why Steve Jobs was so evangelical about a locked digital tech space – once you buy one product, you’re hooked.

I had 6 months in Apple rehab, but alas now I’ve returned and to be honest I’ve no regrets.

Until next month?