“Lorem Ipsum” be gone – use a proper copywriter

Ah Lorem Ipsum, or Lorem Ipsum Dolor (I think) if I’m feeling expansive – the beige text place filler that says put text here and a sight that many web designers and clients sigh over when they see it.

Lorem Ipsum needs replacing you see. And that causes navel gazing and head scratching, because trust me, as a seasoned writer (no salt though as it induces strokes) that is the biggest part of any web project. Well that and the bloody images.

You can find copyright-free images on Pexel, Pixabay and Unsplash and download to your heart’s content, but you can’t find the equivalent for words – because the equal of VAR (topical World Cup reference – tick), Google, will penalise you.

So if you’re faced with this as a web designer or client, how do you react?

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

To my mind, you’ve several options when you’re faced with Lorem Ipsum:

  1. Die slowly inside.
  2. Play client-designer ping pong. Designer asks client for content, client bats it back to designer, ad infinitum.
  3. Outsource it.

3 is where I come in.

I’m a Lorem Ipsum warrior, a word hero without the cape, and increasingly, designers and clients are dropping table tennis rackets, looking at me, esconsed in my foxy office and asking “Stuart, fancy being our Lorem Ipsum surrogate?”

The answer is invariably yes – particularly if you can provide me with a staging or development site or an outline of what’s needed where.

My words

I do it quickly, efficiently and creatively too, a man on a mission if you like to write copy that answers web visitors questions, speaks to them like a human and gets a fist bump from Google.

As a client wanting a website, you could try doing it yourself with inferior results – that’s not me being cocky, but I’ve had years of destroying Lorem Ipsum – or ask the web designer to pay me or head directly to me and say “Stuart, don’t launch into a WordPress sales pitch, we’ve already got someone doing that, but the copy is beige, vanilla and Latin and needs some pizazz.”

I’ll do it.

I quickly assess the word count and quote you a fixed price for optimised, human copy that will have Lorem Ipsum disappearing, embarrassed.

There’s conditions of course – I don’t have scope stretch – by that I mean I quote for 2000 words and you ask me to add a blog or improve 3 you’ve drafted. No way, Jose. You pay upfront too as I hate spending days working and waiting for a month to dine out on it.

Web Designers have it easy

But I’ll tell you this now as someone who has learned a little bit about WordPress web design (I’m on page 14 of Google you know), I could train a 4 year old to ADD NEW – PAGE / POST – CUSTOMISE – APPEARANCE – MENUS – ADD PAGE TO MENU (I hope it goes like that) but said 4 year old, 40 year old client, 50 year old web designer couldn’t craft content as well as a skilled website copywriter, like moi or t’others.

Enough.

I’ve Lorem Ipsum to banish on three websites alone this week – you want me to banish yours?

Drop me a line (no, not that type of line) to stuart@getprocopy.com or connect with me on LinkedIn (don’t worry, I don’t bore on there) and watch Lorem Ipsum disappear, whilst website traffic and sales increase.  

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