As a new kid on the blog (showing my age), I constantly analyse headlines, blog content, keywords, featured images on my own website and others.

I can’t help it, if I’m honest.

But there’s another aspect of writing that always grabs me and according to the king of content marketing and copywriting, Neil Patel, it’s listing.

Not tipping over, drunk.

Not capsizing, but writing lists.

All websites do it and for good reason – it’s compelling and limited by its headline number. You know when you click you’ll see 5, 10 or 50 things in lists – it’s finite and that comforts and reassures us.

A 5 point guide to Twitter for business growth as a headline should generate more clicks than say Twitter for business.

I’m the same as everyone else – I’m a consummate consumer and a sucker for lists.

I’m sure anyone who follows me or knows me personally, maybe can gauge the sort of blog posts, headlines and lists that would have me blithely clicking and sharing, whilst salivating from my ageing jowls.

Any guesses?

Right, I’ll do a list:

  • Property. I stumbled quite late into estate agency not because I drive a Mini or wanted to change the negative stereotypes of the business, but because I love property and people – it was our Roy Walker catchphrase – our mantra – “Passionate about property and people.” Still am in fact. I’ve owned property since the age of 22 and have lived in many places in the UK and am a serial mover. I’ve got a property brain you see, and that’s not corporate flannel. It’s true, property sales, property tales excite me.
  • Cars. I change cars like people change socks. Sod depreciation – give me that new car and its smell. Again I like the whole transaction of buying a car; I enjoy the negotiations with the dealers, the test drives, the extensive pre-purchase research on YouTube and What Car – and I know now that What Car only rates a vehicle if it comes from Germany. I find car dealers good people to deal with. They’re pleasant and helpful, courteous and accommodating – perhaps explains my need for a yearly fix.
  • Gadgets. I love tech, especially all things Apple. Our home is a microcosm of an Apple Store – we’ve all got beards, even my daughter, and wander round the home bedecked with lanyards purring at the Apple gadgetry we own and use. Android users hate me, Windows laptop users despair of my walled garden prison, but I don’t – Apple tech simply works. Don’t get me wrong – I’ll quite happily spend time reading reviews and playing on a Surface Pro 4, anything innovative and high quality makes me wide eyed and 10 again.
  • Writing. I love writing, don’t know if people love reading it. But to me, it’s a total joy, not a burden, not a drudge, not a job, it’s simply a pleasure and I regret not discovering it sooner in my long teaching career. It doesn’t get me out of the house though enough and I’m a social animal, on social media and in real life. I like watching people, meeting people and feeding my brain through contact. They feed lists. Hence the profile headline on Linkedin: Seeking Job Opportunities in Norfolk and Suffolk. I want to do something additional, away from this shrine to Apple.
  • Food. Okay, hands aloft, I’m a coeliac (allergic to wheat, gluten) as is my 9 year old daughter. I run a blogging website on living gluten free, as well as its social media pages. Now I’m partially retired from the 9 to 5, I’m in charge of food. I’m afraid cooking is not a passion or a skill – I love eating good food, but I see cooking as a chore. My 15 year old son James, fortunately, is an expert chef and just to throw food requirements into the air, he’s a strict vegetarian and has been since France scarred him with frozen supermarket snails and live lobsters at 10. My wife is the only one on a “normal diet”.

There you have me, the salivating Stuart Walton, in a list of five.