Clearly I’m not sending this to Jonny Ives. They have more important things to deal with than a letter from some two bit freelance writer, known as Victor Meldrew in the trade, moaning about Apple, iOS 11 and the battery drain.
First world problems indeed.
But I will address this to my small band of readers, who like me, are part of the Apple clan and feel a little pissed off at the moment.
Well I do.
You see I cannily bought an iPhone 6S Plus as the 7 was hitting shelves and got a great SIM free price – £639 for an unlocked handset with oodles of gigabytes – 128 if you demand precision.
The iPhone has been great – fab camera, great size, no iBend that plagued its predecessor and a battery life that served all day most days, until iOS 11 turned my head, like some temptress.
I was sucked in and seduced, and, like an errant lover, who has an affair, quickly realised I’d have been better staying in the previous relationship iOS 10 and bought something like Bluetooth wireless headphones or a Sonos system to pep up the jaded marriage, rather than let my eyes wander.
iOS 11, to me and others, has been an unmitigated disaster.
My 13 month old baby (admittedly with it being a 6S Plus, it’s an obese baby) now needs charging not once a day, not twice, but three times a day, like some Lionel Richie homage.
That is bad in my book and it’s made me look over my shoulder away from the seductress iOS 11 to that whore of Operating Systems, Android. That open garden suddenly appeals after incarceration in the locked, walled enclosure of Apple.
I think Apple are dropping the ball.
Now let me confess.
My freelance home office is a shrine to Steve Jobs and Jonny Ives. From iMac to iPad Pro from iPhone to Beats headphones, I own a mini Apple Store. I have a beard too and occasionally put on an Apple lanyard and dream of inky scribblings on my arms to go the whole hog of Apple slave worship.
This battery malarkey and constant recalibration may have broken this blinkered camel’s back.
The end for my devotion to Apple since 2011 may well be nigh.
Jonny you’ve been warned – sort it out or I will propose to a Samsung S8 or a Google Pixel 2 XL, your nemeses.